Moving On is Hard

Moving on from a Break Up is Hard.  Even when you were Kinda Ready for the break up.  There were plenty of not so great moments.  But for some reason when someone breaks up all we tend to think back on are the good moments 😦 and that makes me an emotional wreck!

There are SO many reasons why this break up is a good thing for me.  But right now All the reasons why we should be together are flooding my thoughts.  And the NUMBER ONE reason we should NOT be together Is I saw a side of him I didn’t know existed.  For Crying Out Loud I had to Call the cops!

BUT yesterday he text me to Say he filed a suit against me for the dog the previous night and I would be Served soon.  But He wanted me to know that he was just upset and freaking out and that he wasn’t actually going to go through with anything.  AND we’ve ALL been there done that….Something in the heat of the moment.  And I know he LOVED that dog…like unnaturally loved that dog.  So I kinda understand.  It reminds me of my break up with my daughter’s dad.

It was a disaster…he tried to take my daughter who was about 9 or 10 months old.  I was screaming….crying…freaking out.  It’s been sooooo long I don’t remember much.  But he took her.  But later that night…calmed down and brought her back.  But I was Fuming!  I filed all kinds of stuff.  And since that night I’ve done some pretty vindictive things to him.

Anyways….after the ice breaker of daniel telling me i’d be served for the dog but not to worry he was just upset and I thought of all the dumb stuff i’ve done…..I miss him.  We were NOT perfect.  We had little issues but none that I ever made a big deal about…they weren’t worth arguing over.  And I could see somethings bothered him too but he never argued…I guess they weren’t that important to him either.  Just annoying habits we both had.  BUT that’s what Love is right???  No one is going to be perfect…we are always going to have little things here and there we don’t like about someone….but the right person is when we can over look those things because so much about them is Right.

I’m not sure if So much about Daniel is Right.  I’ve never dated anyone like him….he’s quiet…a super introvert.  I’m an introvert….but I don’t think i’m to his level of introverty-ness.  He NEVER talked to my parent’s….his reasoning….he doesn’t like people.  He’s a dog person which is why he’s so Distraught over the damn dog.

Another wierd thing….I obviously have a daughter…3 years old.  His family NEVER asked to meet her?!  isn’t that weird???  AND I only met his family twice in the year and a half.   Aren’t you curious as a mother who your son is dating?  BUT him mom didn’t really leave the house…she didn’t drive.  He had a Brother that had health issues…like autism maybe…they never had him tested or diagnosed.  So he didn’t leave the house either.  So as you can see they are a SUPER private low key family.  I kinda saw that as an advantage and a disadvantage.  I love that I wouldn’t be bothered by a possible Monster-in-law.  I wouldn’t have to do family events.  BUT I also wanted my daughter to have more family…I wanted his family to care about us.

He was good sorta with bridget…he tried.  But he wasn’t stepping in as “dad” anytime soon.  and I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing.  I see all my friends mostly facebook friends haha.  Who’s new man in there lives stepped in and became “Dad” to their kids.  and I envied that.  One friend the other day posted something About here Fiance wiping her 5 year old daughter’s butt!!!  That was Definitely something Daniel was NEVER going to do…and I don’t expect that haha.  BUT that just shows you how dedicated my fb friend’s fiance was to his “new” family.  Now there is a difference between all these fb friends and me.  None of them have their child’s dad in the picture at ALL.  My daughter has a Dad and he sees her on the daily.  SO maybe Daniel didn’t have to be Daddy?

Next semi problem….I despise my daughter’s father…as a romantic companion.  BUT we were always good friends.  I think we should have always been friends and Never romantic.  Anyways.  Daniel didn’t approve of him being around more than necessary.  Basically he expected my EX george to knock…take my daughter and leave.  No coming in the house…no attending my daughter’s birthday parties and Definitely NO family outings.  Now I don’t know that I would be 100% okay with my significant other doing Disneyland trips or something like either.  BUT I guess I would trust my BF and know that he loved me and he had a daughter that needs to grow up with mommy and daddy memories.  It’s hard to co-parent when your new BF disapproves of you hanging with your daughter’s father.  So this break up from Daniel is Sorta Liberating.  Because I will NEVER love George again BUT I want my daughter to have memories with her mom and dad.  cause it’s heart breaking when I hear her say things like “I want to go to disneyland with you…….and daddy” in the back of my head I know that will never happen for her.  BUT now that I’m single yet again it’s possible.  I can make her the happiest girl on Earth!

Daniel didn’t want to go on outings as a family….meaning my daughter, him and me.  He Always said “I don’t like crowds”.  We went to the movies in mid day to avoid any possible crowd!  And the few outings we did were miserable for him.  we did them when My daughter was barely 2.  So yes she had some melt downs.  and he couldn’t really handle it.  I could see in his face he wanted to run.  So the next year we spent just doing me and him stuff.  Always leaving my daughter for 2 days at a time with my ex.

As you can see I’m just blabbering as things come to my mind….no order to anything haha.  I totally meant to tell you the things that made us great together BUT the bad things just flowed out.  I’m not a writer…I’m just making myself feel like I can handle my life by talking about it.  I don’t have someone in my life I can chat with and feel comfortable with them knowing all this.  SO i’m talking to you….whoever you are….which is currently no one haha!  I have zero followers!  but this makes me feel better.  Like I can get through these hard times.  But this entry has gotten rather long….I’ll pick up on this another day.

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